Park #3

August 6, 2005: Detroit, Michigan
Park #3: Well, I wanted an adventure, I got an adventure. Now, for those who don’t speak French, Detroit means “narrow” in French, and that translation is completely irrevelent to my day. Well, much to my dismiss, the interesting part of this day was not the baseball park itself, but the times before and after the game. Let’s start by saying that I HATE MICHIGAN ROADS. The ridiculousness was off the scale with this one. First of all, I left Cleveland at 2pm so that I would be at least 90 minutes early for the game so I could catch batting practice; no dice. Everything was fine until I crossed the Ohio border into Michigan. For some reason, the state of Michigan decided to have 3 lanes converge to 1 right over the border to do construction. Now, if there had actually been construction, I wouldn’t have cared too much, but there was none AT ALL. Just orange barrels for 10 miles, and it took 2 hours to go these 10 miles on a Saturday afternoon. So, I got to the game right as the game started. Plan #1 was ruined. The game and stadium were great. The Tigers were playing the Tribe, and it was old school uniform game. They were wearing uniforms from I believe the 1920s. Now, this was my first time ever seeing the Tribe on the road, and it was great, well, because they won. Jake Westbrook pitches fantastic, giving up 2 runs in 7 innings, and he must have had at least 7 Ks. The game was pretty uneventful itself, the Tribe scored 2 runs in the first inning, and then one more in the second inning; further substantiating my theory that the Tribe gets 90% of their runs in the first 5 innings, and is all but incapable of scoring after the 5th.
The game itself was nearly sold out, which was impressive considering the teams. Comerica itself is a beautiful park. The exterior of the stadium is covered with Tigers, giant statutes and pictures, which was really great. It really defined the park, plain and simple. Once you enter the park, you are surrounded by Tigers memorabilia. As you go around the park, there are columns dedicated to each decade. This was pretty bad ass, the whole park is dedicated not only to the current Tigers team, but really appreciates the team’s long tradition. This also went along with the decorum of the stadium itself. The stadium was very modern, with all sorts of amenities that I will get into in a minute, but it also was covered with brick, making it look very old school. It had a great combo of old time and newness. Furthermore, the amenities: there is a carousel and a beer gardens (which is my favorite kind of garden).
Now, as I mentioned in my rant on Pittsburgh, I love statues of players. Comerica has many of them. In center field, there is a line of 6 players: Cobb, Gehringer, Newhouser, Kaline, Horton, and Greenberg. All greats, all kick ass. However, it was cool to see them all at once, but I like the way Pittsburgh did it more, having them spread out, because I think you appreciate them more that way.
I was sitting in left field, behind the bullpens, and I had some very interesting company. I was surrounded by ten guys who were all there for one of their bachelor partys. These guys SUCKED. The groom was bragging to his buddies how he almost called off the engagement because his fiancée stopped using birth control and she wanted him to use condoms, and he really wanted to use the “withdrawal method” and he refused to compromise. This was clearly a 9.1 on the “Oh my god” meter; I wanted to kill this guy. I feel bad for his fiancée.
Okay, onto good news, the FOOD. Okay, the hot dog, it was all beef, which was great. And it came with the grilled onions, an added bonus. We tasty and juicy. Top notch dog. Also, the stadium had two very interesting food items. First, they had organic hamburgers, which confuses me. I’m not sure how hamburgers couldn’t be organic, or how you make them so that you can them label them as organic, but I don’t know, I didn’t eat one, I was too confused. Second, they had mini donuts, which I did it. They were great, for two reasons. One, well, they are donuts, they tasted so good that it was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was eating donuts. Second, you get to watch the donuts being made, it was like watching a movie, I was having a hell of a time, watching all those little pieces of dough being deep fried, it was fantastic.
Now, doesn’t it sound like everything was well and good, with a few hitches and weird anecdotes? Well, yes, that was okay, but then things got to be SHITTY. The drive from Comerica to my hotel, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Now, since I’m heading to Chicago tomorrow, I decided to get a hotel about 30 minutes west of Detroit. Well, the bane of my existence, Mapquest, said that I should take 75 to 96 west. I started that, but 96 west was closed, I mean, the whole damn thing was closed, who does that? So, I figured out that I should take 75 North to 696 west, which would eventually hit 275 South where 96 west would’ve hit it. Sounds good, right? Well, it would’ve been if 75 wasn’t closed TOO. I mean come on! I had to take a detour off 75, and the detour ran into 8 mile. Now, I don’t know much about Detroit, but I do know that 8 mile is not a place I should be. Well, I ventured through it, and I think I made a wrong turn somewhere trying to get back on 75. Well, being un-guy like, I went to a BP and asked for directions. It was awful, I spent 15 seconds explaining to the cashier girl where I was trying to go, and she spent the whole time with her mouth wide open in disbelief. And then when I was done, she said “that is some shit, you are crazy lost”, that did not make me feel good. Well, she gave me directions and I got on 696 West. I was on there for about 20 minutes, and I hadn’t seen any signs in a while. I thought I was fucked, and I was getting really nervous and thought that things were on the verge of going to hell. Then, as I came over a hill, I saw it, staring me in the face, a sign that made me regain hope. I saw a building that had on the top in large letters “Watson Wyatt” (for those who don’t know, that’s where Seth works). Finally, after all that crap, I finally saw a familiar face that eased me a bit. 30 seconds later, I found 275 and I was two minutes from the hotel. Well, after that ridiculousness, I found it. Quite crazy, but it all worked out.
Morale of the story, Detroit roads are awful and I hate them. The stadium itself was great, and I decided to give the whole park a B+, the stadium loses points because of the surrounding awfulness that is Detroit and its terrible roads and unabashed construction.
Well, 3 down, 17 to go.
Be sure to keep checking the Blog, and you guys are welcome to post as well.
Laz